DECORUM

The interesting part of being a fomer teacher is seeing my former students at later stages of their lives- college-graduate school and beyond- my first students-back in 1979 are 48 years old now- it is always nice to see a former student-they are always respectful and apprciative-but i have found that recently many of them assume a first name basis with me-without having requested it or having been invited by me to do so- i have mixed feelings about it-some are just trying to act older then they are-some may think it is grown -up or a mature thing to do-i am a little startled by it as i simply would never have done so- not at my present age of 53-and certainly not at the age of 18 or 19-which is the age of some of my students who refer to me in conversation as Jim-and address me the same way in public and in private- in a school setting i think it is still a very important rule to refer to your colleagues and coworkers by their surname- at least in front of the students-outside the school or at any other time- i think the appropriate form of address is first names-any colleague or administrator who holds a PHD should be called DR in front of the students but at no other time unless it is requested-I live in a small town and see my former studnets on a regular basis - shopping in the grocery store, at the movies, somewhere on the sidewalks-it is a common experience to be called jim-even the college students do it- i imagine some of their professores have given them this privelege so it is assumed to carry over to their former HS teachers-i usually say nothing about it-but i feel a loss of some kind-if they address me as jim-as i would expect a friend to do- it might suggest that we are friends of some kind- if that is true then i am no longer their teacher- and in some respects i am no longer their former teacher either-the last school i taught at had a variety of customs where the froms of address were concerned- some teachers invited the first name basis -others did not- i always insisted on being called Mr Turner-and i referred to everyone else the same way- especially the parents- unless they requested that i address them by their first names- as i am older then a lot of parents now i go along with it-and have no problem with it- i guess it is a sign of the times-certain formalities have been lost and maybe that is a good thing- but the tendency to assume a first name basis by students who are as much as 30 years younger then me is still a little difficult to get used to-if i met a formewr teacher of mine-who would likely be in their 60s or 70s-it would be mr-mrs or miss-could not do it any other way unless instructed and even then i might be a little reluctant- i will still always enjoy seeing my former students- it is wonderful when i do-but when they call me jim-i feel a sense of loss that is hard to explain-well to each his own-and bless their good hearts either way.